Bastard

ARGH!

after this, I saw him today in the supermarket car park, and we spoke, and he was nice. and I HATED it.  I don't know, how dare he have a semidecent life after he did that shit to me.  How dare he be mature and nice, in this conversation in my head, he was whingy and whiney, and his life was crap.  How dare he make me feel bad for him having low blood pressure and a heart attack.  This is all quite ironic given my previous post on Relationships, and how I was saying you have to let go and not require people to take blame.  I'm the first to admit that that is really, really hard to do, but the fact that I posted it only the other day, and now I can't follow my own advice really pisses me off.

The worst thing?  this has made me realise that I'm not as over the experience he put me through as I thought I was.  That I'm still incredibly angry about all the stuff that happened after the breakup.  And that as things currently stand, I have no idea where to go/what to do from here.

I was fine until he turned up, and now, I'm all confused. Why didn't the heart attack kill him and make my life easier? and I'm angry at myself for asking that question, for wishing that on anybody, even him.  I called Don, and his response: "Just get over it. Deal with it. Do something about it NOW" wasn't overly helpful.

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2 thoughts on “Bastard

  1. I'm lucky. Most of my bastard exes are in another state so the likelihood of running into any of them is slim.I don't know what advice I can give you. Nothing too useful I'm afraid. Maybe focus on the fact that you're still young and gorgeous while he's old and decrepit? That should make you feel better!

  2. this is true. I'm also married to a wonderful guy, and we own our own home (well, paying it off) and have a new car. As lives go, I'm pretty set.I think my issue is that I'm not as over it as I thought I was.

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