It’s because I’m used to being hated/loathed/attacked…

A friend of mine posted on FaceBook today: “Apparently, the slippery slope of same-sex marriage is so slippery that soon people will be marrying plants :/ Is that the best argument you’ve got?”  He was attacking statements made about the Coalition’s dissenting report in relation to the Senate Committee Report handed down two days ago.

There were some jokes about this because frankly, what else do you do? How do you argue against marriage equality leading to vegetable marriage?

Jokes like: “Does that mean say I marry a plant, then kill said plant, I will be up for murder?” or

“People have been marrying vegetables for years… It’s typically referred to as Tasmania… or in more recent times, QLD…” (This one was from me as an ex-tasmanian now-queenslander)

Eventually we got to a real discussion: (reproduced below)

A: “Maybe it was hyperbole?”
B: “It was hurtful hyperbole.”
A: “From the above conversation, it doesn’t look like it hurt that much.”

Well, I have something to explain:

I deal with statements and suggestions like this frequently.  In bad periods (like right now) I seem to deal with it daily.  I simply don’t have the energy to get angry and rip people’s heads off every time I hear it, or things like it.  I deal with the concept of “same-sex marriage leading to marrying pets” in comments to news articles on same sex marriage probably at least weekly.

We as human beings often defend ourselves with humour.  Because when we can make ourselves laugh, we are less likely to cry.

I don’t curl up into a ball in distress, I don’t fly into rage, I don’t burst into tears, or attack you, or often, even correct you.

When you say something derogatory that hurts, I do often turn it into a joke, typically because I don’t have the energy to do anything else like confront you over it… A confrontation won’t be worthwhile, won’t achieve a good outcome, etc.  I smile, or I ignore it, and I think “You bigoted…”

I shouldn’t need to wail in distress at every hurtful word for you to realise it might be hurtful. That wouldn’t be “manly” of me. You might even suggest it’s “gay”.

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