eThankfulness – January 7 2013

As usual, it’s time for my eThankfulness column (and as usual, it’s a touch late).

I’ve just moved from Gladstone to Brisbane, and things I am thankful for this week:

I’ve crash-landed into an AWESOME place – not really suitable for me long-term as it’s not right for the Furball, but Furball is staying with friends nearby while I sort myself out.  Nice room, lovely garden oasis, lovely housemates, awesome vibe, and handy to everything!

Friends – people make or break a place, and I’m already out there and getting to know people as well as catching up with some friends who have wound up in Brisbane from Gladstone or Tassie.

The drive down – little traffic, low-level road works, it was one of the nicest Gladstone-Brisbane drives I’ve ever done.

Weather: Has been just lovely – only one real scorcher and I spent *that* swimming in a pool on the Sunshine Coast

Location: just gorgeous to go on walks through, pretty, lots of restaurants, cafes etc

Work: I’ve got a couple of positives on the horizon on the job front.

Plus I have a couple of ideas for potential software products to get moving on while I’m not working – hurrah for skills that let me produce a product without prototyping costs etc! 😀

 

eThankfulness for 30 Dec 2012

As the year draws to a close, the time comes to look to the future.

But first, a look back over 2012

It’s been a wonderful, tumultuous year for me and there have been lots of opportunities to be grateful!

Major events:

• Made a definite decision to move out of Gladstone 1/1
• Started getting housemates in (technically 27/12/11)
• Did minor renovations – painted the house etc. 17/5
• Put my house on the market – 23/5
• Both my parents turned 60 – Trip to Tasmania to celebrate 4/8
• Mackay Rally For Marriage Equality 6/10
• One of my long-time friends got married – 2nd Trip to Tasmania to celebrate 3/11
• Gladstone Marriage Equality Rally 17/11
• Sold my house 27/11
• Moved in with *shudder* people 23/11
• Contract finished at NRG 31/12
• Move to Brisbane 31/12

So what am I going to be Thankful for?

Well, this week I’m thankful for:

Fantastic work people at NRG – I’m going to miss a lot of people from that place

My current housemates – apparently sharing with people isn’t as bad if you’re the one renting the room!  Kidding – M and R have been awesome housemates, and it’s a nice place to live – AND I’ve been able to have Alva here

Friends – so many have been making efforts to catch up before I leave, it’s been really nice.

Work – I’ve managed to get all my projects complete before I left, so I’m quite pleased with myself

Christmas – M’s parents invited me to spend Christmas with them by their pool in Boyne Island, where I was treated like one of th family – it was just lovely, a wonderful way to spend Christmas if I had to spend it away from my own family.

Success – I will succeed in my New Year’s Resolution to be in Brisbane for NYE!

and Having time to spend with friends, to pack, everything

But looking back over this year’s events, what are the things I’m most thankful for?

Making a plan with scary goals, and sticking to it.

Getting at least *one* housemate into my house that I want to associate with afterwards

My friends, who helped me paint my entire interior in a single day, and did a damn good job!

Friends helping with moving furniture around and post-reno cleanup etc, ready for open homes

My August trip to tasmania was (Besides a chance to celebrate my parents’ 60ths) an opportunity to catch up with friends I haven’t seen since I was there the year before, and yielded an opportunity to catch up with my cousin Heather who I so rarely get to see (She’s in Melbourne), and whose company I enjoy so very much!

Attending MR4ME in Mackay was amazing – an experience I won’t soon forget, I met so many amazing people!

My November trip – Aside from the opportunity to see my friend tie the knot, I got to spend time with some of my Canberra friends

GMER – There really isn’t much I’m not grateful for there – it all went so well, and was just such a success

I sold my house – Thankyou Margie Richards for your hard work on getting it sold – Look her up at PRD Nationwide Gladstone if you’re looking to buy or sell in this town – she’s fantastic!

As I said before, my current housemates are awesome – and I’m grateful for good housemates!

My Contract finished at NRG, and while that’s kinda sad, I’m grateful that I was able to leave the place wishing I could have stayed longer – it’s a nice way to end things.

And the move to Brisbane? I’m grateful that there’s someone who can look after Alva while I look for work and a pet-friendly home.

Thank you Gladstone, for some wonderful memories.

Mark Regnerus is at it again…

After the infamous Regnerus Study, you’d hope that Mark Regnerus would have fallen of the face of the sociological planet, would’t you?  Not quite, although his article for The Witherspoon Institute might just make it happen.

His article begins:

 Young adult men’s support for redefining marriage may not be entirely the product of ideals about expansive freedoms, rights, liberties, and fairness. It may be, in part, a byproduct of regular exposure to diverse and graphic sex acts.

It turns out there’s this interesting correlation between the amount of porn men watch, and the level to which they support same sex marriage – these figures come out of the New Family Structures Study which is no surprise, since this data underpinned Regnerus’ last paper.  He has however, steered well clear of the data which was so controversial last time – a good choice on his part.

What baffles me though, is that at the start of the article, you get the block-quote above.  The second-last paragraph starts

Of course, correlation doesn’t mean causation, and I’m not suggesting causation here.

He’s got this partly right, correlation does not mean causation, however, contrast this statement with the following one and the blurb paragraph, and he most certainly is suggesting a causative link.

And the last paragraph in its entirety:

In the end, contrary to what we might wish to think, young adult men’s support for redefining marriage may not be entirely the product of ideals about expansive freedoms, rights, liberties, and a noble commitment to fairness. It may be, at least in part, a byproduct of regular exposure to diverse and graphic sex acts.

Here, I’m going to take Mark to task over sloppy, sloppy language choices:

a byproduct is an unintended or unwanted product of a process, but it is still a product. A product of a process is caused by that process.

The Good Doctor has just said that young men’s support for redefining marriage may be a byproduct of pornography viewing.  One single paragraph after denying that he is suggesting causation, he states that he believes there at least a partial causative link.

I don’t want to get into the pros or cons of porn here.  Regnerus throws up a few straw-men though, particularly to make it look like he’s explicitly denying the causal link.

I can agree with him on one point, I don’t think that same-sex marriage support causes porn viewing.  But his answers to the “alternative explanations” are transparently insufficient – he suggests “Religion? Politics?” and goes on to say “While religiosity indeed matters for perceiving marriage as outdated, it does little to alter the stable link between porn use and same-sex marriage support”

My dear Mark, Religiosity has little to do with same sex marriage support or porn use?  Go back to your data.  Anti-gay sentiment is typically rooted in a religious societal undertone, and disapproval of porn is certainly high on the Church’s list. Someone with religious conviction is (I believe, though I have no data to back it up at the moment) less likely to view porn, and less likely to support same sex marriage.  The perception of marriage as outdated has little to do with either.  With that in mind, someone who is not religious is more likely to both view porn and support same-sex marriage because their world-view doesn’t paint those things as bad!  As for political affiliation, I have no idea – why would you bring it up.

The art of science, Dr Regnerus, is to come up with a hypothesis that explains the data, and then test to see whether it is true, not to come up with answers that could never explain the data, or worse, throw away a hypothesis that could because it doesn’t fit your vantage-point…

If you were given a shred of credibility in Social Science circles (and that open letter of 400 of your peers including 5 colleagues suggests you aren’t) I would weep for the state of Social Science.

Fortunately, it looks like everyone else thinks he’s a quack too.

Dylan Carmichael, signing off

Gladstone Marriage Equality Rally – 4 days to go!

This last week has been incredible.  I put out requests for various things to happen and someone almost instantly puts their hand up to do them!

Like Faye Kjattar from Squid Ink Designs who designed the promo material

If you’ve been paying any attention at all, you’ll know that I’m passionate about making this event a huge success, and I’ve been putting a lot of energy into it.  So I’m asking you, dear readers, to give me a hand! (holds for applause)

Here’s how you can help –

This is a QR code:

Scan it with your smartphone, and it’ll take you to the rally’s Facebook Event page.  After you go there yourselves and make all the necessary flight arrangements to come, your mission, should you choose to accept it,  is to share this image and the Facebook event page as widely as you can!  I know you may not know anyone (else) in Gladstone, but your friends might, or their friends might. This is a situation where numbers matter.  So saturating the interweb with this particular rainbow-sparkly light is important!

The Gladstone Observer’s been great, and I’ve got bloggers everywhere adding to the social media storm!  Today, I’ve recorded interviews with HotFM, SeaFM, JoyFM, and the ABC.

Our “Going” column on the Facebook event is now at over 160 people!

Gladstone, the place to be for Marriage Equality, the place to be for ME!

I look forward to meeting my hordes of loyal readers on Saturday!

eThankfulness – 11 Nov 2012

I’ve been getting slack with this thankfulness thing.

I was talking with my mother when I was in Tassie last weekend, and she told me that something like my eThankfulness is well understood in Psychology to have serious benefits, provided you want to do it.  She told me that maximum benefit is when you write entries in your Gratitude Diary every day, but as long as you do it regularly, it acts as a kind of mental-health immunisation, significantly increasing your resistance to things like depression. She made mention that the only group of people who don’t benefit are psychology students – or rather, people who are being forced to do it.

I feel almost euphoric today!

As you are hopefully aware, faithful readers, in 6 days, the Gladstone Marriage Equality Rally will be over!  I have loved organising it, but next time I take on something like this, I’ll try not to have a house on the market at the same time.  GMER on its own has provided me a list of things to be thankful for:

Businesses being so friendly about putting flyers up.  Many of them lit up and said “Oh, it’s YOU! Yes, I’m definitely coming!”  (Often they spontaneously outed themselves to me too)  Which has been one of the best feelings ever!

The generosity of the group has blown me away too.  It seems that no sooner do I ask for things than I get people saying “Sure! When? How do you want it done?”  From the poster design to walking out flyers.  From T-shirt printing to prettying up Scotties function room, they’ve been absolutely fabulous!

I am thankful to the wonderful woman from the Council who has been handling our rally, and has told me that she’s delighted to come!

I am thankful for the generosity of the Marriage Equality Rally attendees, who have been making this so much easier.

I am thankful for the fantastic reactions of most businesses to my flyers/posters – it’s so encouraging!

I am thankful that my friend has located an amazing new apartment, reducing his stress levels massively (and potentially giving me somewhere to crash in the city)

I am thankful for the opportunity to go and see one of my favourite people in the whole world get married in Tasmania!

On that topic, I am thankful for the wonderful day and the amazing weather.

I am thankful for opportunities to see people I haven’t seen in *years*

I am thankful that this notion which made some sense in my head, and which I felt was doing me good, actually has some basis in clinical psychology, to the point that it has been used as treatment for some things.

I am thankful that I live in a country where this rally can go forward and criticise our government – it’s a privilege that too few in this world get to exercise.

I am thankful for the groundswell amongst the blogger community in getting Gladstone Marriage Equality Rally noticed and picked up! 

I am thankful for the opportunity to have my writing on TheStirrer.com.au – it’s a real honour.

I am thankful for the opportunity to help improve this small corner of the world in this one small way, and feeling like the world is getting behind me to make it a success.

I am thankful, simply for being able to feel thankful for so much of my life.

I am thankful for those World War One soldiers who fought and died for this country, and for all those who have fallen in her service throughout our history.

And so, on this, the 11th of November, 2012, I am extremely thankful.

Gladstone Marriage Equality Rally – 6 days to go!

This last week has been incredible.  I put out requests for various things to happen and someone almost instantly puts their hand up to do them!

Like Faye Kjattar from Squid Ink Designs who designed the promo material

If you’ve been paying any attention at all, you’ll know that I’m passionate about making this event a huge success, and I’ve been putting a lot of energy into it.  So I’m asking you, dear readers, to give me a hand! (holds for applause)

Here’s how you can help –

This is a QR code:

Scan it with your smartphone, and it’ll take you to the rally’s Facebook Event page.  After you go there yourselves and make all the necessary flight arrangements to come, your mission, should you choose to accept it,  is to share this image and the Facebook event page as widely as you can!  I know you may not know anyone (else) in Gladstone, but your friends might, or their friends might. This is a situation where numbers matter.  So saturating the interweb with rainbow-sparkly light is important!

The Gladstone Observer’s been great, and I’ve got bloggers everywhere adding to the social media storm!

Gladstone, the place to be for Marriage Equality, the place to be for ME!

I look forward to meeting my hordes of loyal readers on Saturday!

eThankfulness – 29 Oct 2012

As promised,  It’s time to be grateful!  And let me tell you, I’ve got some doozies this week!

I sold my house! This has been a major stressor for me, mainly because I wasn’t sure I’d have a job after 16 Nov.

I’ve been extended!  My work is now until 31 Dec, which is a small reprieve, but enough to get me into work in Brisbane before I finish, I hope!

I’ve been published via Gay Marriage Rights Australia – Apart from being very chuffed about actually getting a mention from them, this brings me to thing-I’m-thankful-for number four…

Records have been *obliterated*  My previous “most views” statistic for a single day was 166.  Today’s article views on Age Of Consent in QLD are sitting at three times that!  Thank you, fantastic readers, for getting me to that height!

My work’s major project for the year is finally hitting some goals!  We’ve started rolling out our new system, and I’m so proud of my team!

I have a room for the time between my house selling and a Brisbane job starting!  It just dropped into my lap!

I got to go see the Rockhampton production of Hairspray on opening night!  It was a great night, and I loved it!

Finally, this week I go back to Tasmania for the weekend to see my fag hag extraordinaire tie the knot with her long-time partner.  I’m super-excited about that! 😀

What are you thankful for?

eThankfulness – catchup edition – 23 Oct 2012

It’s been a while, and I’ve been busy – the rally and all, y’know? – but I told myself that I was going to take time out each week to reflect and be grateful for things that happen in my life, small or large.  I haven’t been doing that, and I’m sorry.  Not an apology to you so much, my readers – the personal reflections of this blogger saying “thank you” into the void for personal situations are probably not what draws you to my blog – but I regret for myself.  The simple act of saying “thank you” for various things is tremendously cathartic, and puts the negative in perspective frequently and regularly.

Thank you, parents.  You’ve been there for me recently to haul me out of difficult situations, though half the country separates us.

Thank you, friends. During what I have to say is one of the most stressful times in my life, you have kept me laughing, smiling, and have reminded me so much and so often how wonderful my life really is, in so many ways.

Thank you, B, for reminding me how peaceful it can be to go and lay on the beach, be disconnected, and do nothing.  It’s a lesson I’ve needed to re-learn.

Thank you, NRG, for your unique blend of work and social opportunities.  You are the best place I have worked so far in my life.

Thank you, world, for irrational and spontaneous laughter.  It is truly amazing stuff.

Thank you, Kris May and Mackay Rally organisers and participants, for inspiring me to organise a similar event in Gladstone – I doubt it would happen without you.

Thank you, Gladstone’s queer community – I’ve had so much support from you over the last few days with the rally, I’m amazed!

Thank you, Margie, your tireless efforts with my property are truly appreciated.

Thank you, person who held the door for me when my hands were full.

Thank you, world, for leaving me in a situation where my concern is how much and when my house will sell, rather than whether I’ll have food or a roof over my head.

For these things, and so much more, I am truly thankful.

How will we know when we get there?

The Gladstone Marriage Equality Rally preparations are going well!  We took over page 3 of the Weekend Observer, which is awesome.  Here’s the article that ran.

It prompted a friend of mine to ask me “a straight person question”.  She wanted to know “Is it just me or does it piss you off when they describe you as ‘openly gay’?”

And the answer is, in Gladstone?  now?  No.  “openly gay” is still sufficiently novel here for it to be worthwhile as a descriptor.  If I was in Brisbane?  I’d probably be wondering why they needed to include it, with thousands of other openly gay men in the city.  Her concern was that we use “openly” when it might be considered not the best thing.  Like “Openly terrorist” where you would never hear of someone “openly being a child safety advocate”

With that in mind, I started thinking about what it means when we don’t need to attach “openly” in front of gay people in the paper in Gladstone.  I think that that is a good indicator of our acceptance in a community.  I am openly gay.  I stand unashamed, and unconcerned.  If you have a problem with my sexuality, it’s you having the problem.  I’m probably living a bit more openly than most – not many people get an article in the paper to say that they’re gay, and it’s OK!  In future, I might talk to reporters about avoiding “openly”… if “gay” isn’t enough, then maybe “out”,”active”, “concerned”, “vocal” or any number of options might work, without reinforcing that perhaps I should be ashamed of it even though I’m not.

I’ve seen “self-confessed” before and that I would find offensive, much as I would “so-called” or “self-described” – I guess I have this notion that not only is it not something that needs confessing, but that I’m probably in the best position to know whether I am or not, without that being cast into doubt.

So how can we know when we’ve beaten homophobia and heterosexism? When I’m  no longer an “openly” gay man, and just become a gay man.   When we don’t need an adjective to describe our state of public queerdom.  When we don’t need to “openly” be.  When we can just be.  That’s how we will know we’ve won this war. 

eThankfulness – Mackay Edition – 7 Oct 2012

So, Yesterday was the Mackay Rally for Marriage Equality (MR4ME) and so many amazing and awesome things happened I am so thankful for!

Travel – my car tyres are shot – not a big issue, and getting resolved on Tuesday, but the timing was terrible.  I certainly wasn’t going to get to Mackay in Suzi May (My Suzuki Swift) this weekend.  My workmate Tony heard the Rally was on and offered to drive me!  I was amazed, flabbergasted, and so very pleased that he would do that.

Accommodation – Courtesy of the aforementioned Tyres, and Real Estates not taking credit cards, I was an eency bit broke.  I posted on the MR4ME Facebook page, and within about an hour I had a response from someone I’d never knowingly interacted with, saying “Come stay with us!”  – I certainly couldn’t have afforded accommodation even if the rates were normal, and in Mackay they’re apparently ridiculous!

Weather – The weather on both days was absolutely incredible – a beautiful drive up and a fantastic drive back, with a great time in Mackay in-between.  

Turn-out – There were between 190 and 250 people in the rally, it stretched for a city block, and we had to wait every time we crossed a road.  We also had Senator Claire Moore (Who voted for marriage equality in the senate) address us and march with us, and the local Greens candidate Jonathon Dykyj as well!

Opposition – was invisible.  We had talked about (been told) how to handle it, but didn’t need to implement the tactic of ignoring the opposition.

The Walk itself – a great way to seem Mackay’s CBD, My friend Tony and I headed the column.  I’m very proud to be up-front on this issue.  (That’s me with the Rainbow “=” sign)

The energy – it was fantastic to be with that many people all passionate, all supporting the one cause.  I loved every second of it!

The people – We had a great after-march party at Mackay Metro Market – a funky cafe with great food and great atmosphere on River St.   Check them out if you’re in the area!  I met so many fantastic people!  In the above photo we see Jen – self proclaimed fag hag who moved from Sydney to Mackay, just looking for a gay to call her own.  I met Kris May, the organiser, who I’ve interacted with a bit on Facebook.  I met Robin Lockman, a well-known Mackay Gay Rights activist, (and it was fantastic because *she* recognised *me* – I’m starting to feel like I’m a recognised activist! or at least a micro-celebrity…).

Probably for me, the people I really want to say thank you to in this post the most are Cheryl and Morrie.  This amazing couple put Tony and me up for the night, sight unseen, and showed us around some of the beautiful places Mackay has to offer!

 

Cheryl’s the one in the middle, in case you needed some help with that

And her fantastic husband Morrie.  These two wonderful people took us in, showed us amazing hospitality, and showed us around, asking for nothing in return!  Cheryl and Morrie, you are the best!  Get in touch with me any time!

What else am I thankful for… so so many things, far too many to list!  The Mackay trip has left me euphoric and hopeful for the future!  Thinking very hard about staging a Gladstone Rally in the near future!  Oh!  One thing I *am* thankful for that doesn’t centre around the rally so much, my new Real Estate agent.  She showed my house yesterday after I left for Mackay, and called me about 3 today saying “I noticed your porch light was still on. Are you ok? Do you need me to feed the dog or anything?”  I turned her down as Tony and I were just leaving Mackay to come home, but that’s a level of service I would never have expected!  (For those of you who are looking for an agent, She’s Margie Richards from PRD Nationwide – Gladstone.  If you’re selling your house, this is the woman you want!  I only wish I’d listed with her sooner.)